Lindsay Lohan is already on vacation

If you hadn’t heard, Lindsay Lohan spent the better part of the new year traipsing around a yacht in a bikini. Wow. You’re so cool Lindsay. You get to start the year off on a yacht around some island. Well, you know what? Starting the year off with a stale peanut butter sandwich is just as fulfilling. Especially since I didn’t even have to make it. Because I found it under my bed. My life is pretty cool too, you stupid jerk.