Kim Kardashian is dating another NFL player

Unless you play for the NFL, don’t even think about dating Kim Kardashian. Kim’s moved on from Reggie Bush to Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin, 26. The two were seen at Casa Vega in Sherman Oaks sitting in the back drinking margaritas and “cuddling” up. Cuddling? What is this, sixth grade? Did he write her a poem too and pick daisies from the playground for her?

Anyway, a source says, “they’re dating but she doesn’t want to rush anything. Kim wants to date someone who gets her busy lifestyle.” Her busy lifestyle of whoring her daily life out for the cameras. I haven’t quite figured out what exactly Kim does. She’s just sort of… there. Like a huge wart on someone’s hand. You want to ignore it but you just can’t.

Meanwhile, people are excited because they think Kim is a good luck charm now. When she was dating Reggie, The Saints won the Super Bowl. People are hoping the same happens for the Dallas Cowboys. Because clearly the fate of a football team rests in the hands of a 29-year-old reality tv star with big tits and not on the talent or lack thereof of said team.