Josh Brolin is a delicate flower

Josh Brolin is in the October issue of Playboy where he talks about how he was a pansy as a kid. No, really. Josh Brolin was a puss.

“I got picked on a lot. I was a complete geek in school. I had braces. I didn’t have the hot girlfriend. I was a stocky, awkward kid who got laughed off the tennis court. Football? Forget it. I was too sensitive for that.”

Naturally, he went where all the other sensitive boys were. Acting. Now he’s manly and famous and crushes bullies under his iron fist.

Josh also talks about Ryan Reynolds and Megan Fox.

On his thoughts on comedies and why he likes Ryan Reynolds: “I wouldn’t know how to do it. I don’t like the genre, and comedies are not fun to do. Everybody on the set gets so serious trying to figure out how to make the timing and the jokes right. Ryan Reynolds is one guy who I think nobody can do that better than, and he doesn’t get any f*cking credit for it. I went back to see him three times in The Proposal. [covers eyes, laughs] I’m so gay.”

No argument there, dude.

On his thoughts on Jonah Hex co-star Megan Fox, and the bad press she received for her acting: “What Megan has done is confuse everybody thoroughly. To me, she’s doing something more interesting than what a lot of other young people in movies are doing…Katherine Hepburn, one of the most appreciated actresses today, was hated back in her heyday. She was box office poison…They didn’t understand her. Yet now we all look back and go, ‘Okay, she was incredible.’….With my production company we’re developing a lot of good projects, and maybe it sounds like megalomania, but I would love to be the person who puts Megan in a film in which she can actually do something interesting.”

Yea, Megan is a regular Andy Kaufman blurring the line between reality and acting so well that it’s hard to tell if she’s just a pretty airhead or a secret genius. Years from now actors will be idolizing Megan Fox and always complimenting her on how she was ahead of her time. IN FAIRYTALE LAND!

Then Josh talks about being gay again.

On his relationship with wife Diane Lane, and his response to being accused of kissing Grindhouse co-star Marley Shelton in public: “I don’t f*ck around on my wife. I mean, check her out man. My relationship with my wife is fantastic. Marley is my wife’s and my great friend. I’m an extremely affectionate guy… Marley and I were out together, turned around and saw there were cameras. That’s it. Next time I see that camera guy, I’m going to give some guy a good smack on the lips and then hopefully it will be ‘Josh Brolin is gay’ instead of that I’m f*cking around on my wife.”

There you have it. Josh Brolin secretly cries during Ryan Reynolds movies, thinks Megan Fox is Audrey Hepburn incarnate and isn’t above kissing guys to prove a point. Sort of like your dad, but less gay.