Kim Kardashian to be Kim Humphries and She Might Be Pregnant

TMZ reports that Kim Kardashian will be forgoing the Kardashian surname and taking on Kris’ last name instead. That’s right. She’ll be Kim Humphries. Obviously, her mom does not agree with this.

Which might piss off Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner — who recently told Popeater.com, “I don’t think she should take his name and be Kim Humphries … She needs to be Kim Kardashian because she’s worked so hard to get where she is.”

I don’t think making a sex tape with a D-list rapper and then negotiating it’s release through Vivid is what I’d call “hard work” unless “hard” is a euphemism for an erection. Kris Jenner need not worry though. A simple name change won’t wash away years of idiocy.

In related news, Kim might be pregnant which would fit perfectly into why she’s getting married so fast.

“Kim always thought she’d have at least one or two kids by now, so she’s absolutely in a hurry,” an insider tells OK!. “And Kris loves kids and doesn’t see any reason to wait,” adds the pal. “Her friends are even taking bets on whether it will be a boy or a girl.”

The hardest part about childbirth for Kim is getting the kid’s genetically inherited ass past the cervix. It’ll be like pushing Val Kilmer through a manhole.