Lindsay Lohan Got Drunk Off Tea

Like Jamie Foxx says, blame it on the Ko-ko-ko-mbucha tea. Man, that was lame. Whatever. Shut up.

According to Lindsay Lohan, she did not drink wine, beer or liquor while under house arrest. She claims a fermented tea called Kombucha, which contains .05% alcohol, caused her to test positive.

Not like it matters. Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled yesterday that Lindsay can drink alcohol whenever she wants and the probation office can’t test her.

Lindsay told TMZ, “I am responsible, and I’m following the rules and obeying my judge and the Los Angeles judicial system. I’d like to do what I must to get my film career back and the respect of directors, actors, writers, studio heads, fans and so on.”

Wow, how very sincere. Did she roll her eyes after giving this statement and make a wanking motion?