Esquire named Rihanna their Sexiest Woman Alive. To celebrate, they threw dirt and seaweed on her and took pictures. Congratulations? She also did an interview.
Apparently, Rihanna likes to drink a lot.
ESQ: You drink them at the same time?
RIHANNA: One is tea and one is a shot. I usually like dark liquor — brandy or whiskey — but it’s very high in sugar-content and I have some photo shoots coming up, so I had to switch it up to vodka.
ESQ: What happens in your dressing room before a show?
RIHANNA: I eat lozenges, steam my voice, do my makeup. I Skype my vocal coach and we sit there at the makeup table and do warm-ups for about a half-hour. Then, Jen, my personal assistant slash bartender, brings me a shot that she dilutes with a little something so it’s not so harsh, like orange juice or soda water and lime.
ESQ: Why do you have the shot?
RIHANNA: I have to have it. I take it very seriously, so there is a level of anxiety, always. I overthink everything when it comes to my job. The drink calms my nerves. I sip it while I watch the opening act from my dressing room. Sometimes I go out into the audience. I put on a really big hoodie and sneak out there.
To be honest, Rihanna sounds like a lot of fun. I mean, she even gives old, straight men boners on purpose.
RIHANNA: Anything you want to know about what happens onstage?
ESQ: When you pull the guy out of the audience to do the lapdance routine, do you know who it’s going to be be?
RIHANNA: It’s never pre-planned.
ESQ: Who’s the best candidate?
RIHANNA: The way I pick the person is, whoever I feel doesn’t take themselves too seriously, or who I think would be majorly embarrassed about it. Like these old men… it’s hilarious. At first, it was just going to be girls. And then one night, I brought up a gay guy, and then I started bringing up straight guys. Then I started bringing up older straight men. Did you see the one who was getting way too comfortable?
ESQ: What city?
RIHANNA: I can’t remember the city, but I remember what the guy looked like.
ESQ: What happened?
RIHANNA: He was just getting excited.
ESQ: Like he —
RIHANNA: We have pictures. Esquire
She’s like human Viagra.
Dirt, seaweed, a stringy wig. Whatever it takes to cover that Frankenstein forehead.