Jessica Simpson Set to Release Flood of Amniotic Fluid

Jessica Simpson, who’s due in 4 weeks, waddled onto Jimmy Kimmel last night to talk about the immense pressure being placed on her vag and how it’s going to be worse than the Thailand floods when her water breaks.

“I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha…. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!”

If it’s going to be like a fire hydrant, maybe Jessica can use that power stream to jetpack over to the hospital herself because Eric Johnson will be too busy weeping in a pair of galoshes wondering how to mop all that baby juice up.

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Courtney L Puzzo
12 years ago

oh please leave Jessica alone she can’t help it she’s suffering from a condition called polyhydramnios which causes accumulation of excess amniotic fluid and can be life threatenning for mother and child. leading to heart/lung defects and stillbirth/neonatal death and if she and Eric lost their daughter they wouldn’t get the privacy they needed to grieve for that