Jessica Simpson Birthed a Girl

After a two year pregnancy, Jessica Simpson finally pushed out that parasite that’s been feeding off her body. It came out in the form of a screaming 9 pound 13 ounce baby girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson. A pretty lame name. I was hoping she’d name her Macmallan Single Malt Johnson. Alas, it was not to be. Jessica and Eric used Drew because it’s Jessica’s mother’s maiden name.

Jessica wrote on her website, “We are so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives.”