Heidi Montag Had a Breast Reduction

Dead-faced talentless sub-D-lister Heidi Montag underwent a breast reduction having her ridiculously sized F’s brought down to more manageable C’s.

Heidi, if you’ll remember, went under the knife for a series of surgeries in an effort to make her look as plastic as possible. She was the original Courtney Stodden but instead of marrying a 50-something actor always referenced as “that guy from that 1999 movie Green Mile” she married a douchebag named Spencer Pratt famous for being a douchebag.

After suffering from severe back and neck pain along with numbness in her arms, Heidi scrounged around her couch cushions for three years to be able to come up with enough loose change to afford Dr. Jay Orringer, Angelina Jolie’s surgeon.

‘Over the past few years my implants have handicapped me, I have not been able to do a lot of things,’ she said.

‘Over the past nine months I have not been able to do laundry, or look after my dogs or clean my house and I have had to stop working out because my injuries are so severe I cannot even do simple things like rowing or running.

‘I have been limited in my everyday life and the last few months especially have been so uncomfortable and in pain that it has really been taking a toll on my life and my mood.’

Strange considering the only thing I thought handicapped her was her brain. But apparently it was her breasts too!

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10 years ago

Who pays for all these surgeries? I thought she and her husband/wife were broke?