CBS Cut Off Johnny Depp for Being Drunk Off His Ass

At the Hollywood Film Awards Friday which were being broadcast for the first time, Johnny Depp was on stage to present the documentary award to Mike Myers’s Supermensch: the Legend of Shep Gordon. He was so wasted that CBS did what the bartender should have done 4 drinks ago. Cut him off.

“That’s the weirdest microphone I’ve seen in my life,” he began, before struggling with the recalcitrant equipment, to laughter.

He added: “I’m not very good at this kind of thing,” before broadcaster CBS blanked out a swearword or two.

“No-no,” Depp continued. “Watch, I’m going to read this thing.”

Depp began slurring his words and swaying like he was about to fall.

“For decades, Shep Gordon has been one of the most beloved and respected talent managers in the music industry. He is also currently the star of the documentary Supermensch – because he is a mensch – and I have been very, very, er … lucky to have him in my life.

“He’s someone I consider a great friend, somebody … uh, yeah, uh … incredibly, uh … loyal, loyal friend. Um. And so … you have to watch the film. Yeah, there you go.”

After asking “What’s that say?” Depp appeared to swear and was blanked out again. After saying “I mean, it’s one of those nights”, he was cut-off by a clips package.

The only way this could have been more awkward is if when they cut back to Johnny Depp, he dropped trou, bent over and yelled, “Hey! Are you trying to f**k me? Here! I’ll make it easy for you!”

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