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Son Pleads Guilty to Killing Stepfather in the Tighty Whitest Way: the Atomic Wedgie

In a act usually reserved for middle school hallways, 34-year-old Brad Lee Davis pleaded guilty to suffocating his stepfather, Denver Lee St. Clair, with an atomic wedgie – nerds everywhere grab their manhood.

Just like a bumblebee’s flight, the elasticity of worn underwear should not allow the level of stretchable to reach over the victim’s back and onto their face, but this adult bully was able to make it happen. Davis, stepson and alleged man-child, accepted a plea deal for involuntary manslaughter for the wedgie which occurred last January. Originally charged with first degree murder charges, he will now be spending a briefer time in prison.

While Davis’ actions are already easy to confuse with a bulky child bully, evidence also caught him using the word “fixing” as in:  “(Davis) texted a friend that night he was fixing to mess Denver up and later texted he had nothing to lose.” Additionally, the relationship between Davis and his stepfather was reported to be combative which only brings further proof Davis is being run by a stack of obstinate children.

This situation has brought to light the lifesaving benefits of going commando and the suggestion that bullies everywhere move back to the swirlie.

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