Enjoy Never Drinking Beverages with Pulp Again, Woman Arrested for Serving Dead Foot Skin Shavings in Milk

Darwin awards, ready your golden medals for possibly the weirdest way to get arrested. A Maryland woman was taken into legal custody last Wednesday for allegedly serving her family a milky cocktail of the cold, delicious, dairy beverage and her own dead, foot skin shavings.

Just as you are choking on your on vomit now, 56-year-old Sarah P. Schrock’s two victims began to question their mixologist’s skills when they choked up what they suspected to be dead human skin.

Schrock denied having any involvement with the callused concoction.

“She has trays in her room with the same kind of dead skin shavings that had come off of her feet,” one of the victims wrote in her statement to police.

This little stunt has landed Schrock with charges of food contamination, second-degree assault, and failure to comply with a court order that banned her from having contact with one of her victims. Additionally, Schrock’s newest recipe has ruined pulp-y beverages for you for at least the next month.

Most importantly, the question here is why, and the answer here is: we don’t have one; many artists seem to be unappreciated in their own time.

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