Lindsay Lohan Clings to Last Shred of Dignity, Turns Down Burger King Commercial Spot

In a shocking twist of events, it turns out Lindsay Lohan does possess a low-level of standards; the “broke” (HAHAHHAHAHHA – JK SOBBING AT MY OWN FINANCES) star turned down starring in Burger King’s latest ad campaign.

Burger King propositioned Lohan to don a Spicy Chicken Fry box dress, smoke a chicken fry, and give a sppppicy monologue, but homegirl’s got pride! Yes, she’s already spent years mocking herself including her hosting SNL, but this is “making fun of her issues!” Because the world wasn’t already doing that without your help, Lindsboi!

Lohan and her managers at Untitled Talent (you think they just forgot to delete the “Untitled” when they created the first document with their name?) tried to get Burger King creative to choose a different concept to which, without saying it, they were able to convey this was really the only way they wanted Lohan. A source told Page Six Lohan wanted creative control to which I assume after being “so over it” Burger King made this face:

No Way Lohan

“She’s broke, sleeping at different guys’ apartments, but she thinks she’s Elizabeth Taylor,” the source informed, to which I have to question if this is real Elizabeth Taylor delusion if that is such a bad thing for Linds. I mean what’s the worst thing she did besides be a little crazy? Marry like 8 dudes?

Burger King, listen, I can’t even explain how quickly I would say yes if you asked me to be in your ad campaign. That much money that quickly and easily does not happen outside of the sex industry and I’m too Liz Lemon-y to join up there.


In continuation BK, here are some awesome facts about me: my name is also Lindsay, I too have freckles, when I wake up from a nap I look a little like a Lohan mug shot, I am arguably more broke than Page Six is calling Lohan herself, and at summer camp in the early 2000’s I got called Lindsay Lohan because I was said to resemble her in The Parent Trap. I will wear a Spicy Chicken Fries box, I will smoke a chicken fry cigarette, and I will MOST DEFINITELY give a spicy monologue! I will do all of that for money! I’ve done way more embarrassing things for no money at all! So BK Lounge, in conclusion, if you are just looking for a Lindsay that will not turn down your offer, I’m your girl! Feel free to contact the blog; they’ll let me know. #LindsayforLohan

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5 years ago


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