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Leo DiCaprio Engaged, Millions Heartbroken

I didn’t even know Leo was dating a Sports Illustrated model but of course he is. It’s Kelly Rohrbach, she’s 25 years old, and maybe I’m supposed to know who she is. I do now! Leonardo DiCaprio allegedly proposed to her, making her the envy of every girl in my generation except me. I never really crushed on Leo, my sights were laser-set on Johnny Depp, but he was good in Django.

OK! magazine has the news emblazoned across their latest issue with the scoop from an insider, who says that the proposal was spur-of-the-moment.

“It just happened. They were enjoying a bottle of red wine and engrossed in conversation as usual — it’s pretty obvious that they’re in love from the way they’re always touching each other and smiling. And then Leo paused and looked at her, and said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Kelly was shocked, but Leo convinced her that he meant it, and she agreed, with a big kiss.”

First George Clooney, now Leo? Who’s going to be our next incorrigible bachelor? Leo and Rohrbach only started stepping out together in June, and Leo’s people haven’t said anything on the subject of impending nuptials, so I sort of think it’s a crock. But when you know you know, ya know? Maybe Leo knows. Maybe, despite their 15 year age difference, Leo and Rohrbach have a deep and meaningful understanding of and commitment to each other and everything will be happy and they’ll never need the prenup he will undoubtedly make her sign.

But really. If Leo gets engaged who’s left to speculate over? Which long-time bachelor who only dates swimsuit or underwear models will we be convinced is gay until he finally ties the knot? Could that age of Hollywood be over? Does Leo’s role as husband signal the end of the Hollywood Bachelor? Am I totally spacing on someone? Besides Kevin Spacey, I think we can all know he’s gay and that’s hot. Never change, Kevin.

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