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Billy Bush Burned Himself With Hot Pussy Talk

Billy Bush isn’t a mere victim in the Donald Trump “grab her by the pussy” scandal. Bush brought it all on himself. After bragging to friends at a party in Rio that he had a “tape of Trump being a real dog,” staffers at Access Hollywood hunted down the actual footage. Who knew a party in Rio could go awry?

NBC News was never warned about Bush’s salacious tape and the producers at the Today show are none too pleased. They claim that if Bush was aware of such an appalling tape, he should have given that information to NBC News instead of off-handedly bragging about it to the NBC staff at the Olympics. His remarks may violate his contract’s “morality clause”. This would give them a legal reason to dismiss Bush since his general dickitry apparently hasn’t been enough to get him off TV forever.

In addition to violating his contract and doing the mortal sin of referring to himself as “Bushy” in the tape, he may now be investigated for sexual harassment charges by NBC. Though most of the unpleasant sexual language came from Trump, Billy seemed to egg him on and added that a soap opera star, identified as Arianne Zucker, was “hot as shit… All I see is legs.” Billy will not face any charges about sounding intelligent or cool, since his come ons haven’t developed since his first frat party.

Bush won’t find any sympathy from his co-workers. An insider at NBC stated that female staff revolted upon hearing the tapes. Kathy Lee Gifford won’t even let her name pass through his sullied lips, as she refuses for her segment with Hoda Kotb to be introduced by the horny manboy. An insider stated “she has Jesus in her life and feels this is just not right.” Then Kathy Lee drank a bottle of wine before noon and discussed celebrity gossip for a living.

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