Mariah Carey’s Boobs Belong to a Non-Billionaire

Here’s Mariah Carey strapping her boobs down and forcing those things to the sky. She’s 46 now, so gravity’s an enemy, not an friend. Still they look good.

Her new boytoy and backup dancer, Bryan Tanaka, is now officially her rebound. Somehow, she went from a billionaire to someone who probably wears poofy pants. That’s not how it works, Mariah. Get paid or die tryin’.

Check out Mariah and the 33-year-old in the ocean making out at Maui’s Grand Wailea Resort in Hawaii.

Tanaka has to put up with Carey and carry her around in the ocean a la Ariana Grande whose feet can’t touch the ground.

Nick Cannon saw this and felt a little salty.

He captioned it: “#TBT This is how you do it! LOL #IkeTurnUp #WePetty”

Cannon’s still probably butt hurt he lost out on Carey’s money. Totally not Cannon.

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