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Why You Haven’t Seen Richard Simmons in Forever

Richard Simmons is not dead just in case you were wondering. The guy has disappeared from the public eye though and some people may wonder why.

Some recent rumors have Simmons transitioning to a woman and going by the name “Fiona.” A reasonable guess, but not quite correct.

Other guesses include Simmons imprisoned by his housekeeper, Teresa Reveles. Mauro Oliveira, one of Simmons’ long-time friends and uh, masseuse, told the story about how he visited Simmons, who was physically shaking and obviously not doing well. As recounted by Oliveira:

“It was 6 p.m., and I went into his house. He was sitting in the living room, and he was very weakly, physically and mentally. He was trembling. He said, ‘Mauro. I called you here because we cannot see each other anymore. I’m just going to stay here.”

At that point, Reveles the housekeeper, realized Oliveira was there and “started screaming like a witch, ‘No no no no, get out, get out! I don’t want him here!’ Oliveira asked Simmons if Reveles was controlling his life and Simmons responded “yes.”

Well, all those stories are wrong says Simmons’ brother, Lenny Simmons. Lenny clears up Richard’s disappearance:

“He’s not sick. There’s nothing medically wrong with him at all. These things about him transitioning to a woman are ridiculous. My wife Cathy and I were out there for Christmas and spent five days with him and I can assure you, he’s not transitioning into anything but himself.”

Why haven’t we seen Richard in forever? The answer is pretty basic.

“After 40-some odd years, he just decided that he wants to rest. He’s 68 years old now and he’s in good health, but he just wants time for himself.”

Basically, Simmons is old and tired. I get that. Some days I just wanna sleep all day.

Lenny also says Richard also has a beard now, the real kind, not the kind that hides your homosexuality.

None of this will stop the most popular podcast right now on iTunes, Missing Richard Simmons. That podcast goes into details and theories about why we haven’t seen Richard in so long. I prefer the conspiracy theories, not that age is catching up with Richard.

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