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A Manhunt Is on for a Manchild Who Took Out His Man Parts During ‘the Emoji Movie’

Let me set a scene for you. You’re a nice woman taking your kids to the movies with your friends and their kids. You’ve spent the day corralling your little brats and you finally get them to the theater where you’re forced to sit through The Emoji Movie, which you’ve been overwhelming reassured is crap. As you’re sitting there, listening to T.J. Miller learn to be himself or whatever, and wondering why this kid is screwing around sending his crush emoji instead of just sending her a dick pic like every other high school student in the world, you see something out of the corner of your eye; there’s some dude in the back of the theater cranking it. As if your day needed to be worse.

This is exactly what happened to a Howell, New Jersey woman last weekend, and now police are looking for man who decided to take his eggplant emoji out in a theater full of people inexplicably there to see The Emoji Movie. According to PIX11 New York:

The woman immediately reported the incident to management, police said. Movie theater management responded and escorted the man out of the theater.

Police were called later that day.

Officials with The Howell Police Department have asked for the public’s help identifying the man. Police have described him as being in his 20s or 30s. He was last seen wearing a white dress shirt and black pants.

If you have a long memory, you’ll remember Fred Willard got pinched for having a wank in an adult movie theater a few years back, which cost him a job with PBS. And who can forget Paul Reubens, also known as Pee-Wee Herman, adult parody of a children’s show host turned children’s show host, who was arrested for buffing the bishop in an adult movie theater in 1991? Of course, those two beloved celebrities were in a theater playing porno movies, not a children’s cartoon about little yellow faces.

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