Hooters Changes Strategy as Interest in Boobs Shrinks

Remember when I told you big breasts were back in style? Well, millennials have made a fool out of me, because according to PornHub, they’re just not as into big breasts as previous generations. While big boobs are still all the rage on red carpets and Paris runways this season, millennials are searching for Japanese cartoon porn more and breasts, big or small, less than older porn watchers. The most popular porn searches among millennials are “lesbian” and “teen,” both of which sound fine to me.

This is bad news for Hooters, a restaurant that insists they’re popular because their wings are so good and not because their buxom, barely-covered waitresses are paid to flirt with customers. But Hooters is so confident in the ability of their food to sell on its own merits that they’ve started testing fast-casual restaurants branded Hoots, where Hooters food is served in a normal setting with fully-dressed women and men as servers.

It’s probably not just lack of interest in breasts that bodes poorly for Hooters, as there’s been a larger trend of lack of interest in fast-casual chain restaurants that aren’t tit-themed, as well. Applebee’s is going to close over 100 locations this year and IHOP’s profits were down by over $20 million last quarter, according to Business Insider, who noted that TGI Fridays and Ruby Tuesday have also experienced downturns. So Hooters problem is probably less that people aren’t interested in seeing breasts, just that they’re not interested enough to give them an advantage over any of the other endless similar tacky restaurants with license plates on the walls and ESPN on a TV somewhere in your eyeline.

This all seems much ado about nothing to me. Most men like breasts. They like them big, small or medium, the important part is that they get to see them. It just seems that men are starting to have different priorities when looking for porn than big boobs. You know what your own porn search words are, and in general, you’re probably not concerned about breast size if you’re entering a search string like “teen lesbian freckles shaved.” Not that I search that every night or something… I take the night off when Game of Thrones is on.

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4 years ago

“‘Teen’?” Fuckin paedophile.

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