Petition Seeks to Replace Ugly Confederate Hatred with Beautiful Britney Spears Statue

Just yesterday we told you about a petition to replace a Virginia statue honoring the Confederacy with a statue of Missy Elliott. Now another civil war may break out between Missy Elliott supporters and Britney Spears fans as a Louisiana fan wants to replace a Confederate statue there with a statue of Louisiana native Britney Spears.

The petition, which you can sign on change.org, makes this proposal:

Before becoming one of the world’s most important and influential pop legends, Britney Spears was living life in a small southern town by the name of Kentwood, Louisiana.
Not only has Britney proven her talent, but she’s proven her strength of character by not only overcoming highly publicized mental breakdown, but by continuously working towards improving herself. She’s an inspiration to millions.

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She’s already earned her star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, and now it’s time for her home state to honor her with the tribute that she deserves.
Do the right thing: Replace the Confederate statues with an actual louisiana hero and influencial human being, Britney Spears.

So what sounds silly is actually a thoughtful, well-reasoned attempt to replace a monument celebrating hate to one celebrating the accomplishments of a lovely young woman who actually deserves recognition.

But I had my own idea on how to replace these Confederate statues, which were, for the most part, erected during the Jim Crow 1920s or the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s for the sole purpose of making African-Americans feel unwelcome. We should replace them all with statues of William Tecumseh Sherman, the Union general whose scorched-earth March to the Sea decimated the Confederate states. Sherman essentially razed Atlanta to the ground. Maybe placing a statue of him in every city that built a monument to the Confederacy will make the people defending these statues understand how African-Americans and decent people in general feel about them.

Barring that, Britney Spears is a good idea, too. Just not that weird statue Daniel Edwards made of her giving birth on a bearskin rug, please.