Catholic School Forced to Cover Statue of Saint Breadcock the Elder

I was raised Catholic, and if there’s one thing Catholics love, it’s statues. They’re pretty much everywhere. Everyone in my family has at least one statue of the baby Jesus attached to a flower planter and a statue of the Virgin Mary in their backyard somewhere. And of course there are statues of saints everywhere. It’s enough to make you think Mohammed was on to something with the whole “no pictures, please” thing.

Sometimes, however, the Catholic predilection for statues pays off big time. Today is one of those times, friend, because I give to you the statue commissioned by Blackfriars Priory School in Adelaide, Australia, a sculpture that has replaced that Bon Scott statue in Fremantle as the best statue in Australia.

Yeah, just a normal Catholic statue of a saint handing a young boy a roughly penis-sized loaf of bread from his crotch. Happens all the time. I have often described my own penis as being vaguely like a baguette to soon-to-be-disappointed women.

A catholic school in Australia has been forced to cover up a statue after complaints…

Is it the sculptures fault, or everyone's dirty minds? pic.twitter.com/0jdcNKqaLG

— GoSkippy4Business (@GoSkippy4Biz) November 22, 2017

I’m not sure what’s more symbolic, the fact that a catholic college put up a statue inadvertently highlighting sexual abuse of young boys, or the fact that they’ve covered it up. pic.twitter.com/6n7Gc2g4hs

— RAM (@foolsmuse) November 22, 2017

I suspect the designer willfully trolled the sh!t out of Blackfriars Priory School in Adelaide, the Catholic school that ordered this statue… This is just too much to be a coincidence… xD pic.twitter.com/4OE3ZeJY1r

— Farmfield (@Farmfield) November 22, 2017

Priest 1: "Look, the Catholic Church has had a lot of bad press recently. Why don't we commission a statue of that saint giving out bread?"
Priest 2; "Yes, that will make everything better…" pic.twitter.com/oblFZuAbFe

— John O'Farrell (@mrjohnofarrell) November 22, 2017

I must give props to RT for this next tweet. This is some next level double entendre work, and I tip my hat to you, sirs and madams.

Jaw-dropping design: Bizarre cock-up of Catholic school’s statue sparks apology https://t.co/5bYTSHKEWa pic.twitter.com/dH6gVY8Blk

— RT (@RT_com) November 22, 2017

Yes, the school will unfortunately be covering the statue until it can be altered to be a little less suggestive. But luckily for us, photos of this glorious statue will live on the internet forever.