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Jessica Simpson Absolutely Crushed Natalie Portman in Unlikely Social Media Feud

A few things happened today that I never thought I’d see. The first one is that Jessica Simpson and Natalie Portman got into a feud on social media over a 20-year-old magazine cover. The second is that Jessica Simpson totally wrecked Natalie Portman so hard she almost dislodged the stick Portman’s been keeping in her ass all these years.

It all started when Natalie Portman brought up Jessica Simpson in an interview in USA Today.

But she also remembers the virgin/vixen paradigms lobbed by the music industry as the millennium neared. “I remember being a teenager, and there was Jessica Simpson on the cover of a magazine saying ‘I’m a virgin’ while wearing a bikini, and I was confused. Like, I don’t know what this is trying to tell me as a woman, as a girl,” she says.

Yes, I agree with your feminist stance about how every woman who hasn’t had sex should wear a burqa. Everyone knows only sluts wear swimwear, right? You know who had a thing or two to say about that? Jessica Simpson, who tweeted about it.

@Natalieportman I was disappointed this morning when I read that I “confused” you by wearing a bikini in a published photo taken of me when I was still a virgin in 1999. As public figures, we both know our image is not totally in our control at all times, and that the industry we work in often often tries to define us and box us in. However, I was taught to be myself and honor the different ways all women express themselves, which is why i believed then – and I believe now – that being sexy in a bikini and being proud of my body are not synonymous with having sex. I have always embraced being a role model to all women to let them know that they can look however they want, wear whatever they want and have sex or not have sex with whomever they want. The power lies within us as individuals.

I have made it my practice to not shame other women for their choices. In this era of Time’s Up and the great work you have done for women, I encourage you to do the same.

Man, imagine the shame of getting owned in front of the whole world by someone who didn’t know if tuna was a fish or a bird and puts an @ mention in an image on Twitter instead of in the text. Portman replied on Instagram, where Simpson also posted the message.

Thank you for your words. I completely agree with you that a woman should be allowed to dress however she likes and behave however she likes and not be judged. I only meant to say I was confused — as a girl coming of age in the public eye around the same time — by the media’s mixed messages about how girls and women were supposed to behave. I didn’t mean to shame you and I’m sorry for any hurt my words may have caused. I have nothing but respect for your talent and your voice that you use to encourage and empower women all over the globe.

Yes, if there’s one thing Natalie Portman is known for it’s encouraging people to express their sexuality in healthy ways and not going around town like Mayim Bialik’s uptight sex-negative sister.

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This is what happens when Conservative Feminism bumps heads with Lipstick Feminism.

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