Tinder Now Set to Verify Length, Girth of all Dick Pics Sent Through App


There was a small outrage by small men who are outraged at Tinder’s announcement that they will be using new technology to verify the heights of users of the “dating” app. This caused a lot of people to freak out on Twitter.

To be fair, it is kind of weird that Tinder is suddenly verifying things. For example, when I meet someone on Tinder I have to be very careful not to tell them I remember where I was when Kurt Cobain died because my profile says I was 3 years old at the time.

But it’s about to get a lot worse for these guys because Tinder is also rolling out a feature that will tag every dick pic sent through the app with a  verified length and girth.

95% of all pictures sent through our service feature male genitalia. Oftentimes these pictures are frames to make the penis look bigger and fuller than it actually is. We’ve heard from our female users, and while they love waking up to an inbox full of disembodied dongs every morning, they want to be able to quickly tell the Ron Jeremies from the Donald Trumps, so to speak. Our new Tool Verification Tool will let the women receiving these pictures know who’s packing and who has been measuring from the taint.

I am personally on board for this change, but i think a lot of guys are going to be taking more pictures of their faces from now on.

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