This is sort of a good news/bad news story. The good news is that the perpetually drowsy, face-tattooed muppet Lil Xan isn’t going to be reproducing anytime soon. We had thought this was a possibility, but it turns out I might be wrong and there could be a god, and if there is he’s a merciful god.
The bad news is that his partner may have made the pregnancy up in the fist place. That’s not actually bad news, it’s kind of hilarious news, honestly, but “good news/hilarious news” just doesn’t have a ring to it, you know?
People reported that the pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage may have been a hoax and that if it was, Xan was throwing Annie Smith right under the bus and claiming he knew nothing about it.
“I did not fake a pregnancy,” Lil Xan said. “I saw two pregnancy tests with the line that said, ‘You’re pregnant,’ and I was like, ‘Okay, so she’s definitely pregnant.’ But, I mean, I didn’t watch her pee.”
“Then I looked up if you could fake a pregnancy test,” he continued. “I mean, it’s pretty easy.”
When asked whether he thinks that Smith truly faked her pregnancy, Lil Xan (whose real name is Nicholas Diego Leanos) said, “I’m 50/50.”
I mean, if my girlfriend faked a pregnancy to f**k with Miley Cryus’s little sister, there’s no way I would do anything but take her side in public. First because that’s awesome and second because you have to have some loyalty to your partner over dumbfucks on Twitter.
“I was like, ‘I need the paperwork of the miscarriage that you had,’” he said. “This is another suspicious thing — I was like, ‘Go down to the hospital — because it’s on our street — and get the paperwork saying you had a miscarriage,’ but she came back saying, ‘Oh, I have to do this process and s—.’ It really gets you thinking, you know what I mean? I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
That’s pretty fucking harsh. That doesn’t sound like the benefit of the doubt to me.
Still, the couple seems happy. And if I were Lil Xan, I wouldn’t be pushing away people willing to marry me.
His “up to no good” face is the same as all his other faces, and every one of them is the same as my “woke up in the middle of the night to take a piss” face, but with stupid tattoos all over it.