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This Girl’s Booty Call Fell Asleep Before Sex So She Burned His House Down

One maxim that every man hears basically all his life is “don’t stick your dick in crazy.” It seems like good advice, but it didn’t pan out for one New Jersey man who was nearly burned to death by a crazy woman mad he didn’t put his dick in her.

USA Today reported Taija Russell burned a man’s home down last week because he fell asleep when she had come for a booty call.

Police accuse Russell of sending a series of angry texts to the slumbering resident, then buying lighter fluid, matches and a lighter at a nearby gas station around 4 a.m. on Aug. 4.

She’s accused of setting a fire outside the sole doorway to the man’s home, then fleeing as the flames spread, according to a probable cause statement for her arrest.

The victim, whose name has not been released, awoke around 4:30 a.m. to find flames blocking the exit from his smoke-filled residence. He escaped by physically removing a window frame and climbing through the opening, police said.

So that’s attempted murder. And she did a pretty good job of incriminating herself.

Police then learned of texts sent by Russell to the victim, which included “I see you wanna die” and “You wasted my money to come out here.”

That is pretty insane, but a situation that could have been avoided had he just woken up and stuck his dick in the crazy. But that might not be the right answer either.

The incident marked the second time this year a woman was accused of setting fire to a man’s home in Woodbury.

A city woman, 33-year-old Tasia Young, was charged with aggravated arson and other crimes in April.

According to police, Young confessed she engaged in a threesome at her boyfriend’s duplex, then became angry when he sent her home and the other woman stayed.

Police said Young also bought lighter fluid and matches at the same gas station.

The. Same. Gas. Station. What is going on in this town? And why are so many women just burning down houses at the first sign of rejection? Is this a thing I should be worried about? Do I need to add crazy bitch coverage to my homeowners insurance?

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