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Johnny Depp’s Housekeeper Photographed the Dump Amber Heard Took in Johnny Depp’s Bed

Instagram / Amber Heard

I’ve never seen a s**t and thought “you know what, I should take a picture of that, I need that pile of human waste to be immortalized forever.”

Of course, I’ve never pulled back a bedsheet and seen a big old pile of movie star turds, either. You know who had that experience? Johnny Depp’s housekeeper Hilda Vargas. She took pictures of it, pictures which were admitted into evidence at his defamation trial against The Sun and which Page Six published.

First of all, click that at your own risk because unless you’re one of those weirdos who was turned on by the video of the two girls and the cup it’s pretty nasty.

Second of all that is clearly a human s**t and not something done by a tiny dog like Heard claimed, before she switched to claiming Depp himself had done it because he once made joke about having a human take a poo and blaming the dog as a prank.

Johnny Depp wrote in the text, “Will you squat in front of the door of the master bedroom and leave a giant coil of dookie so that Amber steps in it and thinks that one of the dogs, primarily Boo, has a major problem… It’ll be funny!!!”

I regret to inform you that Johnny Depp watches Family Guy. That text was from 2013 and Family Guy made a joke about taking a human poop in Quagmire’s cat’s litter box in the 2009 episode 420.

By the way, the reason Depp’s housekeeper took a picture of the human s**t in Depp’s bed is she was furious, as anyone who stumbled upon a human deuce while cleaning a bedroom would be.

The Spanish-speaking maid, through a translator, said the incident showed “a lack of respect” and that she took the photos because she was “angry.”

I mean, it does show a lack of respect. My mother once cleaned her kitchen floor the day before I had contractors come and tear the floor out and replace it because she didn’t want it to be dirty for the contractors and Amber Heard just shits in a bed and leaves it for the maid? Definitely a lack of respect.

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