People Keep Bringing Cucumbers to See ‘Fifty Shades Darker’
Just buy a fucking dildo. Y’all know they make ones of those that vibrate, right?
Apparently, Dakota Johnson is the only one whose learned anything about sex toys from Fifty Shades Darker.
A manager at a movie theater in Australia really fucked up when he found a cucumber left in the theater after a Fifty Shades screening and then picked it up with his bare hands to show everyone on Facebook.
That awkward moment when you find a cucumber in the cinema after a Fifty Shades session…😳
Posted by Hayden Orpheum Picture Palace on Monday, February 13, 2017
He’s the real kinky one. Goddamn.
A lot of people thought it might be some kind of bizarre marketing ploy, but another guy in the UK found not one, but two cucumbers in the theater after a Fifty Shades screening.
Some dirty birds in Leeds…. 50 Shades Darker has just been on….. #cucumber 😂 #50ShadesDarker pic.twitter.com/KeldcL2C83
— âš½Stevie G #ALAW⚽💙💛 (@s90rny) February 12, 2017
Y’all paying money to watch softcore porn in public when you could stay home and watch quality porn for free while strapped into a fucking machine.
You could be watching two dogs f**k on a boat while a fifty-year-old man puts on lipstick and throws a teenage girl with fake breasts into the ocean for free if you wanted.
Y’all deserve to be kink shamed.
[H/T Someecards]
I nearly snorted coffee out my nose for that second last line…