Cash Me Outside Girl’s Heart Grew Three Times Its Size on Christmas

Alright, I’ve given Danielle Bregoli aka the Cash Me Outside Girl aka Bhad Bhabie a lot of s**t this year. In fairness, she’s deserved all of it for making me listen to her music. But I will admit that this was a good use of her money.

I don’t condone a 14-year-old calling their mom a bitch. But I guess it’s acceptable prior to presenting her with a $65K check that helps pay off the mortgage. You know what, I’ll even let her slide with a “You’re welcome, bitch” if wanted to. She’s earned the extra “bitch” usage after that gesture.

Let this be a lesson for all you inspiring millionaires out there. You don’t actually have to work hard. You just need to go viral on social media. In 2018, don’t worry about landing that dream job or working your way up the ladder. Go do some dumb s**t on YouTube or exploit your children on a reality show. And you too can pay off your mortgage.

Does this mean I have to like Danielle Bregoli now? S**t, I think it does.

On second though, are we sure that’s what this money is going towards? Remember when her mom caught her inside and beat her ass? This might be hush money.

Just kidding. Good you on, Danielle Bregoli. Now use the rest of your money to take some speech classes.