‘I Don’t Do Doping’ Girl Caught Doping

Oh, Winter Olympics, I’m going to miss you when you’re gone. You may not have had hockey or Russia, but you had weird cock statues and titties and that’s good enough for me. You also had some of the best scandals I’ve seen in the Olympics in years.

As you may know, Russia was banned from competing in the Olympics because of their massive doping scheme at the last Winter Olympics in Sochi. The IOC let around 150 Russian athletes compete in the games anyway, under the Olympic flag, and now two of them have been caught doping. I know, it’s shocking that people from the country banned for doping would be caught doping. I don’t know how this could have happened.

Here’s where the story takes a turn. The latest Russian athlete caught doping is Nadezhda Sergeeva, who was training last month in a sweatshirt reading “I Don’t Do Doping”, and if I can’t believe in a motto on a sweatshirt, I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

The thing I really don’t understand is that Sergeeva is a bobsledder. How does doping help you win a sport that is primarily about sitting? More importantly, why is bobsledding a sport to begin with? After they made Cool Runnings it sort of reached its zenith, it’s probably time to hang up the… whatever bobsledders wear. Tight suits and dumb helmets.

Can you think of more embarrassing sports to be caught doping in than bobsledding and curling? And is Viagra a prohibited substance for competitors in ice fucking dancing?

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