ESC

The Pyeongchang Olympics Are Turning X-Rated

I haven’t been watching the Winter Olympics because there are no NHL players meaning there’s really no hockey, but the joke’s on me because apparently these games are winning a gold medal for naked ladies. Not one but two ice dancers have popped out of their costumes in Pyeongchang, and the event isn’t over yet. I’m guessing this is the curse of the cockmonsters living outside Olympic Village.

The first “wardrobe malfunction” was by South Korean skater Yura Min, who just popped all the way out of her tiny red costume.

Min was saved some embarassment when her partner put his hand over her exposed breast.

I really should have been a figure skater. No one ever told me grabbing boobs was part of figure skating.

Gabriella Papadakis’s partner wasn’t as quick-thinking as Yuna Min’s, and he let the whole world see her boob live on television.

That performance put the French duo in second place. Maybe if they had both popped out she would have gotten the gold.

Also, why did no one tell me figure skating was a euphemism for dry humping at a skating rink? This event was starting to get pretty porneriffic before women started exposing themselves. I’m expecting to see routines that start with one partner bringing a pizza onto the the ice and their partner not being able to find their wallet. You get the robot ski team and the hundreds of North Korean cheerleaders in on the action and maybe people will actually start to care about events outside of the curling.

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