Donald Trump Jr.’s Affair With Aubrey O’Day Made Me Look at His Feet and Now I’m Really Mad

Sometimes at this job, I have to write about some really gross things, like Drew Barrymore drinking bird saliva or Harvey Weinstein. But I never imagined I’d wake up and be greeted by the sight Donald Trump, Jr.’s feet. I don’t even think Quentin Tarantino would enjoy this assignment.

Basically, now that we know Aubrey O’Day was madly in love with the world’s least-sexy vampire, people have been pouring over everything she’s ever done or said to see if it references Don Jr. Of course, not everything is as simple as a breakup song called “DJT”. Which brings us to the feet.

Are those Donald Trump Jr.’s feet? I don’t know. I don’t particularly want to know. But The Daily Mail is going to get to the bottom of it. I imagine some editor sitting behind his desk and chomping on a cigar like J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man going “I need pictures! Picture’s of Donald Trump Jr.’s feet!” And boy are they all about Don Jr.’s feet.

The man is not identified, but a side-by-side comparison reveals that the feet are remarkably similar in appearance to those of Donald Trump Jr.

There are few pictures that show Don Jr’s feet surprisingly, despite his penchant fore the outdoors.

Many photos of him fishing or on the beach tend to cut off at the ankles, just before revealing his feet.

I feel bad for the poor schmuck intern the Daily Mail sent to sort through Don’s Instagram for foot pics. He’s going to be on a list somewhere with Piers Morgan.

O’Day also posted this beautiful tweet after she broke up with Douchey Rich, but later revealed it was just a joke.

Other clues are being exposed via Twitter, with O’Day’s Celebrity Apprentice co-star Clay Aiken responding to a claim that she was the one pursuing Don Jr by writing: “My gut tells me the story got a tiny piece wrong. Reverse those two names.”

Arsenio Hall, who appeared alongside Don Jr and O’Day on Celebrity Apprentice, seemed to confirm the rumors on Tuesday as well when he tweeted: “The year @clayaiken … and I were on Celebrity Apprentice garnered great reality TV for NBC. But we both used to say that the GREATER show, was going on behind the scenes.”

It’s not a clue when someone comes out and says something. You never read a Sherlock Holmes story where he said, “Here’s our first clue, Watson, the witness testimony of a dozen people who saw the crime and the perpetrator’s signed confession. The game is afoot!” But at least it’s not more pictures of Don Jr.’s feet. Eurgh.

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