Trump Mistress Aubrey O’Day Is Thirsty, Says Adult Man Who Calls Himself ‘The Situation’

I’d almost feel sorry for Donald Trump, Jr. if not for his total lack of empathy and human decency. His wife is leaving him, the FBI is investigating him, and his former mistress sang two songs about what a douche he is while she was getting every STD known to man injected into her by a member of the Jersey Shore cast. Serious, how bad do you have to suck to have someone writing diss tracks about you while dating a Jersey Shore cast member?

Of course, that Jersey Shore cast member, Pauly D., dumped her, and then his buddy Mike Sorrentino, an adult human who calls himself “The Situation” because he has visible ab muscles, took a few shots at her on Page Six TV.

“Aubrey is a very nice girl but she tends to be parched at times … a little thirsty,” Sorrentino said. “I love her, but yes.”

When asked about her affair with Don Jr., Sorrentino said, “I’m surprised it has been kept a secret this long. I didn’t know about it [before it broke on Page Six], I heard there was someone she had hooked up with who was very high profile.”

Sorrentino is out promoting Jersey Shore Family Reunion, the Jersey Shore sequel that was shot under the working title Roadtrip Reunion, which is now a full series on MTV.

I’m not quite sure where Mike got the idea O’Day is thirsty from, though.

I guess some things will just remain a mystery.

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