This Year’s Met Gala Might Be The Dumbest Yet!
Last night was the Met Gala, and I can’t believe no one has figured out the joke yet. You see, every year since 1948, we’ve told celebrities that they’re showing up to support the Metropolitan Museum of Art by dressing up in the dumbest clothes we can find for them while we make fun of them behind their backs. The Metropolitan Museum of Art isn’t even a real thing; the other 364 days a year, that building is a Cinnabon. Yet if you tell celebrities it’s for a good cause, they’ll do all manner of things to out-stupid each other, like drag around a gold record all night.
This year’s theme for the Gala was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.” This was taken by designers to mean “Put some crosses and miters on the dumbest s**t you can think of.”
Rhianna wore an actual miter. It’s a look.
Micheal B Jordan kind of did the absolute minimum required to actually be on theme, but when you’re so handsome teenagers bite through their retainers at the sight of you, you can get away with it.
They do look like super villains, but also, did Jared Leto dress as Jesus? That’s pretty on-brand for him.
Bond villain was also a popular look.
Tom Brady went to the MET Gala dressed like he was about to ruin Rebecca Bunch’s life pic.twitter.com/w7b8H3vfYW
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) May 8, 2018
Elon Musk always kind of looks like a Bond villain, doesn’t he? And he has his own space program.
If Grimes was a Bond girl her name would be Gracey Snatch, right?
Katy Perry didn’t keep the wings all night, unfortunately. You wear giant angel wings to an event, you wear them home from the event, Katy.
I like to imagine Zendaya hooked up last night and then had to wear her medieval suit of armor for her walk of shame this morning.
Olivia Munn actually had to be sewn into this form-fitting chainmail suit, but at least she was prepared for a barbarian invasion.
Of course, not everyone loves this parade of ridiculousness as much as I do.
*NEW COLUMN*
If the Met Gala was Islam or Jewish-themed, all hell would break loose – so why was it OK for a bunch of flesh-flashing celebrities to disrespect MY religion?https://t.co/aXXTl8P5eE pic.twitter.com/MiLLlJFaSu— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 8, 2018
Aww, you’re offended Piers Morgan? Isn’t that cute? Take the fact that no one showed up with an altar boy glued to their crotch as a win for your side, guy. I kind of think Piers Morgan only says dumb s**t like this to distract from the fact that he’s constantly tweeting women about their feet.
holy hell pic.twitter.com/gjlF7VsxCC
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) May 7, 2017
Yeah, I didn’t make that up. But I’m guessing you wish you could still pretend I had and return to the blissful state you were in 30 seconds ago.
