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Chris Brown’s Dream to Renew Romance With Rihanna Has Been Smashed Harder Than One of His Face Punches

Holy shit, how did I end up talking about Chris Brown for the third time this week? Seriously, how does a guy who can stay out of the news for months on end except when he punches someone in a club get this much press in mere days? This is even worse than covering Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP twice in a week.

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As we all know, there was quite the ruckus on social media this week when Chris Brown was found lurking on ex-girlfriend Rihanna’s Instagram. Rage, turmoil, and fury erupted over the Internet as fans roared at Chris Brown’s gall to seek out the woman he violently beat. This sparked quite the dispute over whether Rihanna and Chris Brown had a cordial relationship and whether that was a good idea (Answer: No. No, it is not).

Well, if Chris Brown had any hopes of rekindling his romance with Rihanna, he is sure to be sorely disappointed. Recently, Rihanna had a romantic dinner with billionaire Hassan Jameel which seems to have utterly destroyed Brown’s hopes and dreams of a renewed courtship.

A Hollywood Life source allegedly close to Chris Brown said:

“Chris is crushed, he had no idea Rihanna was still dealing with Hassan. He fully believed they were over and done for good so it’s a real blow to find out they were out for a romantic dinner. Chris is taking it hard because he was really getting his hopes up.”

Oh, wow, what a fucking tragedy. Poor Chris Brown’s hopes of Rihanna have been utterly dashed. Dude, you two dated almost ten years ago. Anyone else would tell you to move on with your shitty life. But that’s beside the point; there’s a more important factor here. You smashed her face in, you piece of shit. Chris Brown, go find another punching bag elsewhere; an actual one and not a human being would be nice.

Yes, this would make a fitting romantic tale. Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy punches girl back in the face repeatedly. Boy and girl break up. Girl moves on. Boy tries to woo girl back again. Oh wait, that’s not a love story, that’s a fucking police report.

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