Ariana Grande Is the New Queen of Instagram

Selena Gomez used to be the most-followed person on Instagram, apparently because the website that only exists to see how close you can come to showing your nipples without actually showing your nipples is mainly used by teenage girls. That or adults really love Selena Gomez. They’re both pretty weird explanations, honestly. I don’t even know which one is worse.

Gomez’s days as the most-followed woman on Instagram have come to and end, however, as she’s been dethroned by charcoal grill enthusiast Ariana Grande and her 146 million followers, who are treated to deep thoughts such as this one.

Of course, she’s also the most popular singer since The Beatles, so I guess it’s not surprising. The followers. Well, also the saying dumb things, John Lennon was exactly this kind of fake-deep dickhead, too.

I mean, you can’t see just anyone using those cartoon filters, that’s the content I need from social media. That is well worth having my every movement and conversation tracked and catalogues by Mark Zuckerberg’s army of computer nerds to see.

That is a cute puppy, though.

Grande is probably celebrating her win by getting engaged to an idiot she just met then figuring out how to cover up the tattoo of his name she got on her neck. Turtlenecks, Ari-chan, turtlenecks.

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