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McDonalds is Safe Again, R. Kelly is Back in Jail

By March 7, 2019

R. Kelly just made bail and he’s already back in prison. The man barely had time to fraternize with teenage girls at McDonalds and now CNN reports he’s rotting away in prison just because he’s a little behind on his child support. But what’s $160,000 between former lovers? And his youngest kid is like, 17. That’s old enough to marry R. Kelly. Almost too old.

Supporters are working to get Kelly, 52, out of jail by next Wednesday, publicist Darrell Johnson told reporters at the Richard J. Daley Center.

…

Johnson said once someone pays the $161,000, Kelly will be freed from jail.

“Supporters.” “Someone.” This mother fucker is going to have a gofundme to get him out of jail, isn’t he?

If you want to see that publicist’s whole impromptu presser, comedian Deon Cole, of all people, uploaded it to Twitter.

What did he do with all that ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ money? I couldn’t get away from that song when it came out. It was like the song was R. Kelly and I was a teenage girl.

All Robert really managed to do while he was out was give an interview with Gayle King that instantly made him into a meme.

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