It’s Happening! Floyd Mayweather Is Going To Absolutely Destroy Logan Paul

I must be on Santa’s nice list because I totally just got everything I asked Santa to bring me for Christmas. Worldly possessions? You can’t take it with you. But Floyd Mayweather beating Logan Paul down so bad he probably won’t be able to walk again? That’s the kind of existential joy that will stay with you long after you’ve shuffled off the mortal coil.

Now, Logan’s little brother Jake Paul just knocked out an ancient basketball player because he trained like hell and acted like that made him a boxer rather than a sideshow.

Now, you may be thinking “But isn’t Floyd Mayweather 7 years older than Nate Robinson and almost twice as old as Logan Paul? And isn’t Logan Paul 40 pounds heavier than Mayweather?”

Both of those things are true, but keep in mind that Mayweather’s career boxing record is 50-0 while Logan Paul has been in one boxing match which he lost to an English person, which is a little bit like having a French person turn you down for sex: it simply doesn’t happen and if it does you should be embarrassed.

Like Paul and his brother’s other fights, this is an exhibition match and not an actual boxing match, so even if Mayweather loses he’ll still be undefeated. Of course, if Mayweather loses he’ll never be able to show his face in public again so the record is the least of his worries.