Jessica Simpson John Mayer

After eating dinner, Jessica Simpson spent the night in Rome’s Hotel de Russie with John Mayer having loud monkey sex.

When they got back to their room the couple’s energetic bedroom antics could reportedly be heard through the walls.

A source revealed to More magazine: “Jessica and John got back fairly early and stayed in all night. But by the sounds of it, they didn’t get to sleep for a long time.

“This woman was saying she couldn’t believe Jessica sounded like she was getting it on so loudly in the room next door.”

Holy crap. Is…is that a boner in my pants? I can’t remember the last time I had one from a story about Jessica Simpson. This John Mayer guy sounds like a stud. Wait, what? That’s John Mayer? Are you sure the screams weren’t because he was beating Jessica with a club?

Rather than post pictures of Jessica on her downward spiral towards fuggy-town like this and this, here’s one of her from happier times.

Jessica in the water