Jessica Simpson

A prerequisite for becoming a serious, respected, Oscar worthy actress is to go naked in a movie. That is Hollywood law. Jessica Simpson finally figured this out and is dead set in getting a role that requires full frontal nudity and, therefore, will “put her on the map.” Female First says,

“The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry’s respect that she’s ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all.”

Earlier this year, Jessica’s father Joe Simpson forced her to turn down a potentially Oscar-winning role as a porn star – insisting she keep her clothes on.

He said: “The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I told them, ‘I think we’ll just buy a statue of a little man and keep our clothes on.’ “

Joe Simpson always seems so dirty when I read articles about him. That’s why his quote sounds insanely inappropriate. Who here thinks the “little man” Joe is referring to is his penis and that he’s going to dip it in gold and dress it up in a little tuxedo to give to Jessica Simpson? Anyone?

Aww, look. How cute. She’s already waving bye-bye to her career.