Abolish the Monarchy: Prince Harry Wants to Ban ‘Fortnite’


Former Nazi enthusiast Prince Harry has taken a bold stance on video games; burn the ones I deem harmful, like Fortnite. You know his grandfather’s favorite sisters were actual Nazis. Seriously. One of them literally hung out with Adolf Hitler.

It turns out that growing up being told that God chose your family to rule a country and having your every want catered to by a staff of servants while you never work a day in your life makes you grow up to be kind of an idiot. A few years of serving in the military’s 110th Photo-Op Corps just isn’t enough to correct for being the product of generations of Nazi inbreeding, I guess.

Here’s what Harry actually said, according to the Daily Express:

He said parents don’t know what to do about their children’s addiction to Fortnite.

The Duke said: “The game shouldn’t be allowed.

“Where is the benefit of having it in your household?

“It’s created to addict, an addiction to keep you in front of a computer for as long as possible. It’s so irresponsible.

It’s fine if you don’t want to let your kids play a game, but trying to have it banned is insane. You know what it leads to? Police going around arresting kids for playing a video game instead of policing actual crime? Don’t believe me? Well, after some dipshit 11-year-old asked India to ban Fortnite competitor PUBG, the Indian state of Gujarat actually did, and here’s what happened, via CNET:

Over 10 students were arrested in the city of Ahmedabad for playing the mobile shooter, with a further 16 people arrested in the city of Rajkot in the past week alone, reports the BBC.

That’s what Prince Harry wants for England. Because he’s an idiot. Twitter agrees.

Yeah, that Nazi thing isn’t going to die easily.

I don’t actually play Fortnite, but it’s just a video game. We’ve been doing this my entire life, like, literally before I was born. The first (somewhat successful, at the time) attempt to ban a violent video game was in 1976. From he National Coalition Against Censorship’s website:

First Controversial Video Game, “Death Race,” Pulled Off Store Shelves 
The objective of the lo-fi black and white game that looks like a slightly more advanced version of Pong is to earn points by running over as many “gremlins” as possible within a given time frame. According to video game historian Steve L. Kent, “What got everyone upset about Death Race was that you heard this little ‘ahhhk’ when the person got hit, and a little gravestone came up.” Due to public outcry, Death Race’s manufacturer takes the game off the market.

That was 43 years ago. There are people in their 60s who were hearing about how violent video games were destroying society when they were teenagers. It’s enough. Someone invent holograms that will jack you off so we can debate the ethics of something else for a minute.

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