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Elon Musk Wants to ‘Nuke Mars’

Elon Musk is my favorite rich asshole. He’s like the pied piper only instead of stealing kids with a flute, he builds them high-tech underwater coffins and is followed by idiots instead of rats. But I like him because he’s the Joe Biden or George W Bush kind of idiot and not the Donald Trump kind of idiot, which is to say you usually get a good laugh out the dumb shit he says.

Take, for example, his latest tweet.

People think this guy is some sort of rogue genius like Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs founding Apple when he’s actually Tim Cook, a guy who comes late into other people’s ideas and turns out a product of declining quality that at this point you’re only buying because you’re locked into the ecosystem and it’s still slightly better than Android for now.

Musk says he’ll be selling t-shirts proclaiming his idea to start a nuclear war with Gorloc, The Slumbering Lord of Red Planet.

This seems like normal, run of the mill stupidity from Musk, but CNET reported that Musk had previously brought up this idea as part of his plan to terraform Mars.

During a 2015 appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Musk laid out the idea behind nuking Mars: To make the planet habitable for colonists, he’d have to unleash as much greenhouse gas as possible to warm the planet.

“The fast way is to drop thermonuclear weapons over the poles,” he said.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the famous astrophysicist who has made bringing basic scientific literacy to the average person a part of his mission in life, has said on many occasions that if you can terraform a planet, you can fix whatever problems Earth has that are making you want to leave in the first place.

But if Elon Musk really wants to nuke Mars, I say we let him do it.

On one condition.

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