Wait, is Lindsay Lohan Dating the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia?

Some things are too insane for me to actually wrap my head around them, and Lindsay Lohan being the Queen of Saudi Arabia is way up at the top of the list. But it’s a thing that could happen some day and we’re all just going to have to deal with that.

Here’s the deal; Page Six reports that there are rumors that Lohan and Saudi Prince Mohammad bin Salman have been getting close. How close?

A wild rumor hit town that Lohan and the bloodthirsty crown prince of Saudi Arabia have gotten close, and that he’s been flying her around in his jets and showering her with presents — including a gift-wrapped credit card. And when we started asking around, a source in her inner circle acknowledged that they “know each other.”

See, that sounds like the sort of thing a Saudi prince is likely to do for a celebrity when he wants to have sex with her.

Now a rep for Lohan, 33, tells us that the pair met just once — around a year ago at a Formula One Grand Prix race. The rep also denied that bin Salman — who has been accused of ordering the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi — gave Lohan a credit card.

Either way, pals of Lohan — who even say they’ve seen text exchanges between the pair — are boasting about what they claim is a new friendship. The rep called those claims “lies.”

It sounds like they’re dating, doesn’t it? Lindsay would basically be free to steal children and speak with insane accents if she were a queen, too, so it sort of works for her.

She just needs to be sure that he doesn’t misunderstand when she asks him to give her “a little head,” because if there’s one thing I know about Saudi Arabia is that there are way more beheadings than female orgasms in that country.