ESC

Amber Heard May Want Elon Musk’s Checkbook Again

Lonely billionaire crazy person Elon Musk was seen recently having lunch with his ex-girlfriend, domestic abuser Amber Heard. This seems like a bad idea. Musk’s infatuation with Heard goes all the way back to when they were both in Machette Kills together, and Musk kept sending Robert Rodriguez e-mails asking for help getting into her panties. But it was not to be for Elon, because Heard had already found a rich guy to date.

About 15 seconds after Heard filed for divorce with Johnny Depp, while she was still claiming Depp was abusive and asking for $50,000 a month in alimony, she started dating Musk. Now, I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t… you know the rest.

Eventually, Musk dumped her because, according to everyone who has ever said a word about Amber Heard, she’s a pretty terrible person. She didn’t have much time for Elon, but she had plenty of time for his checkbook. Elon was looking for a relationship, though, not a findom, so it was out the door for Amber.

Of course, Elon kind of sounded like a sad sack in an interview with Rolling Stone just after the break-up, so maybe being a billionaire doesn’t make up for being a weird little dude after all.

Then he heaves a sigh and ends his effort at composure. “I just broke up with my girlfriend,” he says hesitantly. “I was really in love, and it hurt bad.”

He pauses and corrects himself: “Well, she broke up with me more than I broke up with her, I think.”

Well now, according to TMZ, Heard and Musk were seen having lunch together and Elon laid a pretty serious kiss on her afterward. This lead to speculation that they were back together, but it was quickly shot down by a friend of Musk’s after the story broke.

A source close to Elon tells TMZ, “Amber invited Elon to her favorite restaurant for lunch, which serves cuisine from her home town of Austin. They caught up and kissed goodbye, but are not back together.”

I mean, it could be the first steps towards getting back together for the two, or it could just be a friendly lunch. About the only thing I can say for sure is that Elon definitely picked up the check.

  • Kat123

    Oh no Miss “fiercely independent” Heard will have to go back to women again until she meets another wealthy older man to look after her.

  • doctor strangelove

    oh, the sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

  • Kirchner

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart

  • reindeer

    She invited him and he paied. So funny.

  • Mastermind

    Horribly one sided comment. You‘d better talk about your jealousy and envy …

  • robert franklin stroud

    Dude can do better.
    He needs a friend to slap him straight.

Latest
Load more