Britney Spears started filming for the next season of The X Factor today in Austin, Texas. While that’s all well and good, reports are more focused on her ridiculous rider. Her alleged demands include:
Her spokesperson, however, denies the rumor saying she never made any demands. “The story is totally untrue,” they say. I tend to believe the spokesperson. 10 pieces of chicken and 4 pints of potato salad? C’mon. Britney can eat way more than that.
If you noticed that Kelly Clarkson is, let’s say, less fat now, it’s because she is. She says her boyfriend has inspired her to lose weight.
“I would love to say that it had something to do with my work, but it doesn’t,” Clarkson, 30, whose new singing competition Duets premieres Thursday, told reporters during a conference call. “I have a boyfriend, and if I’m being completely honest, no one likes to be not toned when you are dating someone.”
This is very true though I can’t help but feel Kelly is being a little disingenuous when she says she could have stopped being a fatty whenever she wanted.
“I tone whenever I want, and I chose to now because my boyfriend and I are both really into it,” she says. “But we don’t work out together.”
“We did that once and I didn’t like huffing and puffing,” she continues. “I didn’t like looking all red and gross, so I don’t do that.”
So is she saying she chose to be a fatty by choice? Because increasing your risk of heart disease and not being able to walk a mile without wheezing seems like really odd things to want to have.
“Siri, poop! Hehehe.”
“Give me your finest sheep placenta!,” Victoria Beckham shouts whenever she goes to see her specialist.
A report by The Sun claims Victoria pays up to $500 for a 90-minute facial which involves “shining a red LED light on the face to open the pores, before an afterbirth gel sprinkled with gold flakes is spread on.”
In English, this means they put placenta on her face. Not just any normal placenta, mind you. What is she, a freak? No, her Beverly Hills specialist uses only the placenta from New Zealand sheep. The finest sheep placenta in the world because those sheep have been “untouched by the modern world.” I don’t know about you, but I take that to mean the farmers don’t rape them when they’re bored.
“They have no impurities in their system. The stem cells we harvest are amniotic cells, which means no harm is caused to the animals,” says specialist Dr. Harold Lancer. ”The stem cells are preserved because they are full of rich nutrients that fight free-radical damage to the skin and make it more radiant.”
In other words, celebrities are idiots and will believe anyone that uses big sciency words. “Free-radicals, you say?!” *Opens checkbook* I bet these sheep don’t even come from New Zealand. They probably come from Bakersfield. And I won’t be convinced otherwise until I see a birth certificate.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is currently filming Don Jon’s Addiction where he plays a porn-addicted “Don Juan-type” as he attempts to become less selfish. To really embody the part, JGL needed to transform himself into The Situation. Because if there was ever an archetype for selfish lovers, it’d be that guy.
Here he is in a scene bro-ing out over pizza. It was probably a scene where he grabs a slice with friends and brags about how he smashed a chick the night before. Like literally. Through the headboard. She’s still unconscious. So, uh, if you could come over and help me move the body after you’re done eating, that’d be great, thanks bra.
