Chace Crawford never believed in love at first sight. That is until he saw Sebastian Stan at the afterparty for Milk. Swoon.

I’ve not forgotten about you, ladies. Here’s Julian McMahon with Kelly Paniagua at an Australian beach in his Speedos. I don’t see what the big deal about him is. He’s not such a stud. Look at him ignore  that little drowning girl’s cries for help. Although, to be fair, he does look like he’s wincing in pain. Probably because that water is almost up to his chest. Eeek!

I think this photo needs a caption. Any takers?

This could explain why the LCD I ordered was cracked. And here I thought Samsung was trying to be artsy.

• Bossip: Rihanna engaged?
• Drunken Stepfather: Women have orgasms during childbirth
• Asylum: The greatest achievements in men humping things
• Celebslam: Samantha Ronson really loves the Freddy Kreuger sweater
• Holy Taco: Chyler Leigh is a MILF

• CoEd: How to compete in the Amsterdam Olympics
• Dlisted: Nice outfit, Courtney Love
• CityRag: Megan Fox’s breasts ring it
• Celebitchy: Who let Jessica Simpson cook?
• Daily Fix: Where all the white women at?

• UseMyComputer: Danielle Lloyd covers up
• CS: Joel Madden shops at Chanel
• SOW: Brad Pitt shills Pringles
• FHM: The sexiest bits of 2008
• Mr. Skin: Aubrey O’Day doing Playboy soon
• IDLYITW: Britney is only worth $1,000

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell are the proud parents of twin daughters Dolly Rebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip. The two were born Dec. 28.

Having their birthday so close to Christmas could be bad. Depending on whether or not they celebrate it, Rebecca and Jerry might decide to combine the two events and give them one present. This is made worse by them being twins. It may mean even more combining! Now they have to fight over who gets to play with their Christmas/birthday present. As they mature, they will eventually hate their parents for doing this to them.

In related news, I’m no longer allowed in the maternity ward. Apparently, a new baby is supposed to be a “joyous” occasion. Yea, well, tell that to the kid over there whose mother just snuck out of the hospital. I’m sure he’ll be real happy locked underneath the staircase of his adoptive parents’ house.

A beautiful stranger hacked Britney’s Twitter account and posted some ugly lies on her page. Lies that need correcting. For the record, Britney’s vagina is not 4 feet wide. It’s 3.89 feet. And the claim of it having razor sharp teeth is wholly inaccurate. They’re just mildly pointy. Barely even able to bite through meat.

Jennifer Aniston is un-relatable, unlikable and un-everything due to her incessant bitching and moaning. Yet, somehow her movie Marley & Me has been number one at the box office for the past two weeks in a row. Which is why in these grainy shots of her in a bikini, you can almost see an air of smugness around her as she plods along the beach half covering herself with a towel. Granted, that could just be a manifestation of my dislike for Aniston combined with the graininess of these photos but I highly doubt it. I mean, you see her kicking that puppy too, right?

Samanatha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan’s relationship will probably never work out. Partly because Lindsay isn’t really a lesbian and partly because Lindsay can be a bitch. Therefore, it’s not surprising that these two rang in the New Year with screaming and fisticuffs. Page Six reports:

Trouble started Tuesday night as the two partied at Set in Miami. “Both their families were there, and Lindsay and Sam just started going at it,” our spy said.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, the couple went nuclear and started screaming at each other while hosting a party at Mansion. The fight spilled out into an alley behind the club, where Lohan screeched at Ronson, “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!”

Our spy said, “It was a really gross alley. There was a bum eating a sandwich watching the whole thing. Lindsay was really unstable and flipping out.”

After Lohan and Ronson went back to the hotel, several sources heard crashing sounds and screaming coming from their room until the fight spilled out into the hallways at about 11 a.m.

“They were punching each other - it was bad,” a spy said. “And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary.”

At one point, Lohan dropped to her knees and cried, “Why are you doing this to me?” And Sam just said, “I don’t know you.”

Eventually hotel security was called and photos were taken of the girls’ “trashed” room. “Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess,” another spy said.

Describing an alley as “gross” because there’s a bum eating a sandwich aside, this account is really disappointing. Page Six really turned this potentially sexy story into an un-sexy story. Where’s the part about the make-up sex and Sam sneaking down to the concierge to ask where she could get a bowling pin at 3 in the morning? This is like 30 minutes of foreplay followed by your date abruptly leaving because you ran out of money to pay for the other 30 minutes.

International film star, Zhang Ziyi, best known from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and, shudder, Rush Hour 2, ended up at the beach topless with some guy fingering her as seen in these watermarked, low quality pictures.

Ugh, foreigners. Look here little lady. I don’t know how they do it over there in China, but over here in America we don’t stand for these shenanigans. Only one or two blurry shots of you topless? No, this won’t do at all. But, considering your man defiled you in public, I’m willing to let it slide this time.

Oh and it looks like they may have been caught. Hmph, lifeguards always have to ruin the fun. Like that one time I was harpooning seals which was made worse by the fact that I called Tara Reid a seal.

Update: A few higher quality added.