- Chef serves up own genitals at banquet [The Frisky]
- Ban anonymous comments? [LimeLife]
- Tracy Morgan is Khloe Kardashian’s father [IDLYITW]
- Sophie Vlaming’s boobs for fashion (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
- Janet Jackson opens up about weight [INO]
- Piranha 3DD sacrifices penises [SOW]
- Tom Hiddelston is a huge dork [Lainey]
- AI needs to move past white guys with guitars [HuffPo]
Web Finds
By Victor, 12:05 AM on May 25, 2012, 0 Comments
Britney’s ‘X Factor’ Rider Is What You Expect
By Victor, 4:54 PM on May 24, 2012, 0 Comments
Britney Spears started filming for the next season of The X Factor today in Austin, Texas. While that’s all well and good, reports are more focused on her ridiculous rider. Her alleged demands include:
- 34 Herve Leger dress
- 12 Snickers bars
- Six cases of Diet Coke to be replenished each week
- 10 bags of Doritos
- 12 vases of magnolia blossom
- 10 pieces of chicken
- 4 pints of potato salad
- A beauty team including a personal manicurist, facialist and massage therapist
Her spokesperson, however, denies the rumor saying she never made any demands. “The story is totally untrue,” they say. I tend to believe the spokesperson. 10 pieces of chicken and 4 pints of potato salad? C’mon. Britney can eat way more than that.
Kelly Clarkson Lost Weight for Her Boyfriend
By Victor, 3:08 PM on May 24, 2012, 0 Comments
If you noticed that Kelly Clarkson is, let’s say, less fat now, it’s because she is. She says her boyfriend has inspired her to lose weight.
“I would love to say that it had something to do with my work, but it doesn’t,” Clarkson, 30, whose new singing competition Duets premieres Thursday, told reporters during a conference call. “I have a boyfriend, and if I’m being completely honest, no one likes to be not toned when you are dating someone.”
This is very true though I can’t help but feel Kelly is being a little disingenuous when she says she could have stopped being a fatty whenever she wanted.
“I tone whenever I want, and I chose to now because my boyfriend and I are both really into it,” she says. “But we don’t work out together.”
“We did that once and I didn’t like huffing and puffing,” she continues. “I didn’t like looking all red and gross, so I don’t do that.”
So is she saying she chose to be a fatty by choice? Because increasing your risk of heart disease and not being able to walk a mile without wheezing seems like really odd things to want to have.
Today’s News Brought to You by John Malkovich’s Only Friend
By Victor, 1:25 PM on May 24, 2012, 1 Comment
“Siri, poop! Hehehe.”
Say What?
- 29-year-old US Olympic hurdler Lola Jones admits to being a virgin. She wants to wait until marriage to lose it. She’s also kind of funny.
- You fool! You’ve been eating sushi wrong this whole time.
- Bar Refaeli says no one hits on her. Granted, I’d imagine it be hard to do when she’s surrounded by bodyguards 24/7.
- It’s confirmed. Men like sleepy, dumb drunk women. They needed a study for this?
- I have no idea why anyone would get a Pete Rose tattoo like this.
- Miley Cyrus’ tattoos have deep meanings or whatever.
Film & Music
- Justin Timberlake last released an album 6 years ago. He’s finally releasing a new one. Sort of. He’ll be scoring Bill Purple’s The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea which already sounds boooring.
- Not sure what Fantasia was wearing during American Idol but it didn’t look flattering.
- The cast of Snow White and the Huntsmen read erotica. Namely, Fifty Shades of Grey. Charlize Theron is hot.
- Milla Jovovich waited 20 years to release her newest single.
- Oh, no, Kristen Stewart jacks off two guys in her new movie and parents are all like, “Bellllaaa, how will I explain this to my kids who for some reason I took to this movie.”
- Gary Oldman has signed up for the Robocop remake.
That’s Cool, I Guess
- Diddy got punked on Twitter.
- Whereas it was a controversial topic before, it’s now cool to support gay marriag. Colin Powell just jumped on the bandwagon.
- Chloe Sevigny recently complained about having to wear a fake penis. And here she is wearing it. NSFW, obviously.
Victoria Beckham Likes Sheep Placenta on Her Face
By Victor, 12:46 PM on May 24, 2012, 0 Comments
“Give me your finest sheep placenta!,” Victoria Beckham shouts whenever she goes to see her specialist.
A report by The Sun claims Victoria pays up to $500 for a 90-minute facial which involves “shining a red LED light on the face to open the pores, before an afterbirth gel sprinkled with gold flakes is spread on.”
In English, this means they put placenta on her face. Not just any normal placenta, mind you. What is she, a freak? No, her Beverly Hills specialist uses only the placenta from New Zealand sheep. The finest sheep placenta in the world because those sheep have been “untouched by the modern world.” I don’t know about you, but I take that to mean the farmers don’t rape them when they’re bored.
“They have no impurities in their system. The stem cells we harvest are amniotic cells, which means no harm is caused to the animals,” says specialist Dr. Harold Lancer. ”The stem cells are preserved because they are full of rich nutrients that fight free-radical damage to the skin and make it more radiant.”
In other words, celebrities are idiots and will believe anyone that uses big sciency words. “Free-radicals, you say?!” *Opens checkbook* I bet these sheep don’t even come from New Zealand. They probably come from Bakersfield. And I won’t be convinced otherwise until I see a birth certificate.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt Buffed Up, Hugs It Out
By Victor, 12:13 PM on May 24, 2012, 0 Comments
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is currently filming Don Jon’s Addiction where he plays a porn-addicted “Don Juan-type” as he attempts to become less selfish. To really embody the part, JGL needed to transform himself into The Situation. Because if there was ever an archetype for selfish lovers, it’d be that guy.
Here he is in a scene bro-ing out over pizza. It was probably a scene where he grabs a slice with friends and brags about how he smashed a chick the night before. Like literally. Through the headboard. She’s still unconscious. So, uh, if you could come over and help me move the body after you’re done eating, that’d be great, thanks bra.































